


Lie To Me

by twdsunshine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 15:50:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18479410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/twdsunshine
Summary: It’s been six years since the reader last laid eyes on Daryl Dixon, six years since he promised he’d come back for her, and now he’s finally returned to Hilltop, close enough to touch.  But will she be enough to make him stay this time around?





	Lie To Me

The night air was cool when you emerged from your trailer, revelling in the silence of the sleeping community.  Apart from the guards that stood on the raised platforms either side of the gate, there was no sign of life within Hilltop’s fences, and Barrington House was a shadowy mass illuminated from above by the half-moon.  Your feet sunk into the dew-damp grass, sending shivers shooting up your spine, and you paused to tug on your boots, leaving the laces undone.  You hadn’t wanted to put them on inside, fearing the heavy tread would wake your roommate, and you cursed yourself for not having thought to grab a jacket, but it was too late now.  Sneaking back in would only risk drawing attention to your late night wandering, and that was the last thing you needed.  

You could feel his presence.  He’d barely cast a look your way since he’d come riding in, with Carol and the kid from the Kingdom, as if he didn’t know that he’d turned your world upside down all over again.  Of course, he couldn’t know.  How many years had it been?  Any sane person would have moved on by now.  They wouldn’t have wasted their time pining over what might have been with a man that was so damn adamant that he couldn’t give them what they wanted.  But you weren’t sane, not anymore.  At least you didn’t feel it.  You’d lost your mind at the same time that he’d broken your heart, and you couldn’t help the spark of hope that his reappearance had ignited within you: that maybe things were different now; that maybe he could put you back together.

The first time he’d left, you’d understood.  There was a war on after all, and hadn’t the long nights that you’d sat as his side, tending to the wounds that had festered during his time as Negan’s prisoner, been so he’d have the strength to fight?  Because he hadn’t been like you.  You’d stumbled across Hilltop with nothing left to lose and, until you’d met him, you’d kept your distance from everyone, no matter how grateful you were that they’d taken you in.  You couldn’t let anybody get close because you couldn’t bear for them to die.  But Daryl, he had friends, family, and it meant everything to him to be able to protect them.  And so he’d gone, with a tight hug and a promise that he’d come back, and you’d forced a smile and tried to believe him because you didn’t have a choice.

But he hadn’t come back.  The war had been won and he’d gotten caught up in what came next, taking his place as a leader at the Sanctuary where he stayed for the next… however long.  You’d lost track around the time you went numb, tired of missing him and of feeling alone.

When he’d finally returned, so much time had passed that you almost feared he wouldn’t recognise you, but he’d greeted you warmly, wrapping you up in his arms and holding you for just long enough that you could inhale soothing lungfuls of his scent: sweat and musk and that freshness that always reminded you of the forest on the first day of spring.  It had been enough to bring tears to your eyes but you’d hastily scrubbed them away, embarrassed, only to find when you looked up that Daryl’s gaze was fixed on you, watching, a crooked smile playing on his lips as the tips of his ears turned pink.

’S'real good t’ see ya,’ he’d admitted, ducking his head and scuffing his boot against the ground.  ’S'been a long time.’

‘But you came back, just like you said you would.’

‘Ya been waitin’?’  

‘Of course.’

He’d shaken his head as though that had been a mistake but you’d been able to tell that he was pleased, even if he’d never admit it.  He was stuck in a constant cycle of low self-esteem, not being good enough warring with his fear of being a burden, of letting people down, for dominance in his mind, but the fact that you’d cared enough to hold on had given him a boost that he’d badly needed.

That had been the worst night, the night of Gregory’s execution, and it had kept you apart as he got drawn into the preparations.  You’d found him after, sitting alone because, despite his friends, he was always really alone, and you’d settled yourself at his side, just as you’d done when he’d first come to Hilltop, broken and bruised, and looked up to the stars.  

For a long time you’d sat there in silence, enjoying the stillness and peace that followed a day of death and turmoil.  And then he’d finally spoken.

'Whaddya make of all this?’  He’d gestured towards the gallows and you’d shrugged.

'I think Maggie had a tough decision.’

'Ya think it was the right thing t’ do?’

'I…’  You hesitated, knowing he was close to the widow that led the community.  'I think we need to have rules, boundaries that can’t be crossed.  And I think we need punishments for those that cross them.’

Daryl grunted.

‘I guess I struggle with the concept of punishing somebody for attempted murder by murdering them.  I’m not sure it sends the right message.  In fact, I’m pretty sure you went to war against it not so long ago.’

Another grunt as he ducked his head, hiding behind his curtain of dark hair.  It hung in tousled waves around his face and you’d itched to comb your fingers through it, but you’d sat on them instead, digging your nails into the backs of your thighs.  'Nothin’s straight forward no more.  Gotta kill t’ get by, gotta watch yer back in case anyone takes issue with it.  S'impossible t’ get it right.’

‘Do you think it was the right thing?’

He’d nodded.  'Gregory was a snake.  Ain’t no great loss, far as I can see.  Hilltop’s better off without him.’

You understood that.  You knew that the former leader had colluded with the Saviors, done whatever he could to save his own hide, even if it meant selling out his people.  Daryl was right: you couldn’t do right for doing wrong in this world.  It was a bleak prospect.  'What’s it like?  Living at the Sanctuary?’

'Ain’t like this.’  He’d shrugged.  ‘It’s a hole.  Shoulda let the place rot if ya ask me.  Nothin’ grows there.  S'just a drain on resources.  Half the people there are just waitin’ for Negan to escape 'n’ make his way back.  Spend most nights waitin’ for someone t’ sneak up 'n’ put a knife in my back.’

'Is that why you’re here?’ you’d asked gently, probing, looking for a way through the bravado that he put up for the rest of the world.  'Because you’re scared?’

'Ain’t scared.  Jus’… jus’ needed a break, that’s all.’  He’d shot you a glance as his teeth snagged his bottom lip, gnawing on it as his gaze returned to the darkened grounds.  'What about you?  How’ve ya been?’

‘Good,’ you’d lied, before sighing heavily.  ‘I mean, okay.  I’m okay.  I’m fine.’

'Ya look good.’  

You’d smiled a little at that.  'I’ve been working in the gardens, learning a lot.  I like to be busy, y'know?  Makes the days go by a little quicker.’  The days without him; the days with no one to talk to, not openly, not like this.  ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘Wanted t’ come sooner but-’

'Oh, no, I totally get it.’  And you did.  You didn’t blame him.  You just wished things were different, hoped that now they might be.  'But, Daryl… Y'know, before the war, you told me that you weren’t ready to be anything to anybody, and I got that too, what you’d been through.  You were so angry and I knew you just needed to fight, to make them pay for what they did, and that… that was cool.  But it’s been a long time and I just… I want you to know I’m still here.  For you, if you want.  I mean, I told you I’ve been waiting and I have.  Nothing’s changed.’

His eyes had been fixed on yours, but when you fell quiet he’d looked away, fingers toying with a loose thread on the knee of his trousers.  You could see his brain working through your confession, struggling with it, and you’d almost wished you could take it back, but it had been too late.  'Y/N…  I mean, it ain’t that I don't… I- I like ya, y'know?  But I ain’t the guy ya can count on.  I can’t even tell ya I’ll be around.’

'I don’t care,’ you’d insisted.  'I’ve waited this long, haven’t I?  I’ll keep waiting for you.’

‘Ya deserve better.’

'I don’t want better.’

'Ya don’t know what yer want.’

'I do.’  It had seemed easier just to show him then and you’d grabbed a hold of his shirt, tugging him towards you so that you could kiss him.  For a moment he’d frozen, and it had suddenly seemed ridiculous, your mouth moving slowly on his as he waited for you to relinquish your hold.  But then, just as you were about to give up and break away, a large hand was cupping your cheek, pulling you closer and he was kissing you back.  Hungry.  Messy.  Urgent.  

That kiss would carry you through the long nights to come, but it never had a chance to develop into something more, something that might satisfy the need that burned within you.  Because he was still unsure, and as soon as he’d let you go, he’d settled in for the night, pulling you down beside him so he could curl himself against you, ragged breath hot on the back of your neck.  And the next day there’d been work to do, a bridge to rebuild, and, of course, he’d been one of the first to be dispatched to the task.  He’d sought you out before he left, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek and offering a small, half-smile.

'We ain’t done talkin’, you 'n’ me.’

'No?’

'Nah.’  His hand had found yours, squeezing it gently.  'I'mma tell Rick I wanna stay here.  He’s gonna have t’ find somebody else t’ run things at the Sanctuary.  Least, if you’re sure that’s what ya want.’

'It is.’

You’d watched him ride away, one hand shielding your eyes from the sun, as your body vibrated with excitement.  It had been worth the wait.  He was going to be yours.

That had been… What?  Six years ago?  Maybe a little longer.  And in that time you hadn’t laid eyes on him until he’d walked right in today, a stranger and yet so much a part of you that you couldn’t even hate him for leaving you behind.  You’d heard the stories, of course, the explanations.  Rick’s death had done a number on the archer, and the fact that there was no body, nothing to bury, not a single trace of him left… Daryl had ventured out into the woods alone, and had been endlessly searching for a sign ever since.  A sign of life or of death.  Either.  Just confirmation that the sheriff was or wasn’t gone to give him and his family the closure that they needed.  Until, suddenly, he was back, and you had to know why.

If it hadn’t been for the dog’s quiet whines, you might never have tracked him down, but, as you tramped across the grass, goosebumps pimpling your skin as the cold bit at your bare arms and legs, your tank top and sleep shorts doing little to fend off the chill, you could just make out the high-pitched keen.  You followed it to the gallows and slowly began to climb.

When you reached the top, only the burning amber end of Daryl’s cigarette confirmed that you’d found the archer and you picked your way carefully across to where he sat, legs dangling over the edge of the platform.  

‘Hey.’  You’d thought long and hard over the past however many years of what you might say when you finally saw him again, but now the short greeting was all that you could muster up, and he arched an eyebrow at you as you folded your body to the floor at his side.

'Din’t know ya were still here.’

'Where else would I be?’

He shrugged.  'Coulda gone anywhere by now.  S'been…’

'A long time.’

‘Yeah.’

You smiled awkwardly and he returned it, the gesture breaking the ice, just a little, so that you felt able to ask, 'How are you?’

’M'fine.’  He wasn’t.  He was gnawing on his thumbnail and his eyes were sunken, dark circles marring the skin beneath.  You wondered when he’d last slept, really slept.  ‘You?’

'Yeah, fine.’  That was it.  He didn’t ask any more or offer anything further, and you sighed as you kicked your legs down to hang beside his, letting them sway slightly in an attempt to warm yourself.  Before you’d even registered his movement though, he was slipping out of his jacket and placing it over your shoulders, barely even thinking about the gesture, and you were overwhelmed by the heady scent of him.  'What are you doing here, Daryl?’

'Carol asked me.  She, er- She wanted me to watch out for the boy.  He’s gon’ be stayin’ here for a while, learnin’ a trade or somethin’.’

'Right.’  So, he wasn’t back for you.  That hurt.  And it didn’t sound like he planned to stay which hurt even worse.  You almost climbed to your feet then and there, intent on leaving him alone and keeping your distance for the duration of his stay, but piercing blue eyes were locked on yours, and the sadness behind them took your breath away.

’M'sorry.’  It was barely a mumble, but you nodded anyway, waiting for him to go on.  'Wasn’t fair, what I did to ya.  I want ya t’ know, I was plannin’ on comin’ back.  I didn’ mean t’… With Rick- With what happened, e'rythin’ changed.  I couldn’ let it go, y'know?  Wouldn’ve been fair t’ put that on ya.’

'That should’ve been my choice,’ you bit out, hating it when he flinched.  'I get it, Daryl, but… It still sucked.  I’m sorry though, about Rick.  I know how much you loved him.’

Daryl nodded.  'He was family.’

'And what am I?’

'I…’  He tailed off, unsure.  ‘Yer different.’

You had to fight back a humourless laugh at that.  Different.  But still not enough.  'I’m still waiting, y'know?’

'Ya shouldn’ be.’

'Can’t help it.’

'Don’ know what ya want me t’ say.’

You sucked in a breath.  There were so many things, so many ways you could answer that.  You’d imagined what his words might be over and over in your head during his absence, imagined the best and the worst case scenarios, but right there, that night, you realised there was only one thing you could stand.  'Lie to me.’

His eyes narrowed.

'Tell me you’re staying this time.  Tell me this is gonna be your home now and that you want it to be with me.  Tell me that you’re done searching, and that there won’t be any more fights, no more reasons for you to leave, that it can just be you and me, and the rest of the world be damned.’

'Y/N-’

'Lie to me,’ you begged him, unaware of the tears welling up in your eyes as you inched closer, drawn to his warmth and the way he was looking at you, as if he wanted you but was too afraid to reach out and… 'Please, Daryl, just for tonight.  I need you.  I missed you.’

'I missed ya,’ he rasped, and your hands were creeping up around his neck, carding into his hair.  'I wanna stay, y'know I do.’

‘And you’re going to.  Nothing’s gonna take you away from me again, not this time.’

When your lips met his, it was bittersweet.  God, he was delicious, his kiss greedy and desperate as he wrapped his arms around you, but the saltiness of your tears was a constant reminder that this was a detour from the truth, a few stolen moments outside of the timeline you were living in, outside of your reality, where he was just a man and you were just a girl and you could kiss him and let him hold you without the promise of pain in the near future.  And when he laid you down against the knotted wood and covered your body with his, dismissing his mutt with a barked order, you knew that your memories of this night would be held somewhere within its whorls, the thick planks giving beneath your collective weight as he began to move.

Afterwards, he held you against his chest, burying his face in your hair as you clung to him, not ready to let go just yet.  It was a beautiful lie and you wanted to stay lost in it, but the sun was coming up, painting the world in a golden glow, and you knew reality would follow close behind.  

'How long are you here for?’ you asked finally, when you knew you couldn’t put it off any longer.  'I mean, you’re here for Henry, so how long will he be training?’

‘Don’ know,’ Daryl admitted.  'Few weeks, maybe.’

‘Daryl…’

'What?  Ya wan’ me t’ lie to ya again?’

'Please.’

His hold on you tightened and you didn’t think you’d ever felt so safe, so secure.  ‘I ain’t goin’ nowhere, I promise.  I ain’t leavin’ ya again.’

'Thank you.’


End file.
